We have lost our social graces. I was taught that ” please, and thank you were non-negotiable. That acknowledging people with eye contact and a warm smile was polite. 

Now, in an AI age where loneliness, disconnection and erosion of basic civility gnaw at our shared humanity, we need to reclaim something simple yet radical: the Rules of Civility. 

George Washington, back in 1814 when he was just a schoolboy, before he was President of the USA, famously wrote an article based on a 16th-century French etiquette guide called The 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviours. 

This shaped what became “modern manners” in the Western world. Some of the 110 rules were a little quirky, like: 

• Shift not yourself in the sight of other nor gnaw your nails.  

Ok, so he didn’t like fidgeters or nail biters. 

• If you cough, sneeze or yawn, do it not loudly but privately and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside  

And some are still valuable strategies relevant today, like:  

• Strive not with your superiors in argument but always submit your judgment to others with modesty. 

 Meaning it’s not just what we say, it’s how we say it that counts. 

Then there’s this one: 

• Every action done in company, ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.  

… and I like this one too: 

• Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop.  

If we boiled the intent of young George Washington’s list of rules down to one word, it’d be: Respect, right?  

In the world of service… it’s a valuable skill to tune in to the other person, and notice the verbal and non-verbal cues; you know… the way they talk, the way they’re holding themselves and… when we put our attention to their unexpressed needs while subtly attuning to their energy or frequency… they feel more comfortable … and that’s where trust begins.   

I thought about what must have been the tone of ‘The Times’ for Washington to feel compelled to publish such things. I reflected on ‘these times’ and, with the urgency of AI, we are desperate for a reclamation of lost manners, dignity, ‘love thy neighbour,’ and a revolution: civility as a survival strategy in a dehumanising world. Once again, history is repeating itself. 

I propose that the intentionality and practice of old-world civility now meet a new consciousness. We need new rules of engagement in the boardroom, the workplace, and everyday interactions that role-model civility and decent behaviour we all deserve.