Last weekend, a young woman campaigning for the Greens knocked on our door in the pouring rain. She was out taking action at a time when so many of us bury our heads in the sand. What she or her party had to say wasn’t the point; this isn’t a political piece.
It would have been easy to glance at her T-shirt and, depending on my politics, dismiss her or invite her in for a cuppa. But walking down the corridor, I felt something bigger moving me towards her: respect for a fellow human knocking on doors in the rain, and a sense that we both deserved a moment of genuine conversation.
In AFR Weekend (24–25 October), Ryan Cropp and Emma McGrath-Cohen described a ‘tsunami of grievance’ putting political representatives at risk. For me, this raises a leadership question: are we deepening division or building trust across differences?
So, I stood and listened. After all, that is what a decent member of our human community would do, right?
It has become hard to trust people, especially those on the ‘other side’. The 2026 Edelman Trust Barometer found that 73% of Australians are hesitant or unwilling to trust people who see the world differently. Community life requires basic mutual respect. When that is lost, we begin to divide as a nation.
When we are uncivil to others, we hurt ourselves. Both the abuser and the abused lose.
To stand strong again, perhaps we need to question our polarising views and seek unity.
What Aristotle knew
The need to reclaim civility, common decency and respect for ourselves and others is not new. More than 2,300 years ago, Aristotle and his students gathered the constitutions of over 150 Greek city-states to understand why some held together and others tore themselves apart in civil war.
In Politics IV.11, Aristotle argued that the most stable cities have a strong middle class. Where extremes dominate, he describes ‘a city, not of freemen, but of masters and slaves, the one despising, the other envying’ (trans. Benjamin Jowett). Contempt flows one way. Envy flows the other.
Aristotle’s middle was economic, not a policy position or a fence to sit on. For me, the lesson is to invest in the whole rather than a faction. To focus less on winning and more on serving.
Serving the whole by habit, not law
Then, in Book V, his study of why constitutions collapse, Aristotle lands on the point that matters most for leaders today. Of all the safeguards he examined, the greatest is education in the spirit of the constitution. Even the best laws, he warned, are “of no avail unless the young are trained by habit and education in the spirit of the constitution” (Politics V.9).
In Nicomachean Ethics II.1 (trans. W. D. Ross), he puts it plainly: ‘we become just by doing just acts’. He also writes that ‘legislators make the citizens good by forming habits in them’.
Character is not declared; it is practised. Our daily habits can mend our nation’s divide and heal our hearts.
Actions matter more than words.
I keep a reminder on my car’s dashboard: Your daily habits create your future. I read it every day because I, too, need reminding.
For years I have watched organisations put standards on walls. The real test is whether people live them, especially when they disagree.
This is the heart of my Service Habits work: turning the intention to serve into everyday practice. Listening before dismissing. Disagreeing without demeaning. Offering the person at the door the same respect, whatever colour their T-shirt.
Leaders must stop picking sides because their responsibility extends beyond those who agree with them. The task is not to win people to our side but to build trust across sides. That is serving the whole.
What does your intention to serve look like in an ordinary working day? I invite you to trial three Service Habits for free at ServiceQ Academy and make time for that practice.